


a home without a door

by Icey, Lua



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Disfunctional characters, Earth C (Homestuck), Established Relationship, Existential Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Not Beta Read, POV Second Person, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Polyamory, Post-Game(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quadrant Confusion, Quadrant Vacillation, Tentacle Dick, Threesome - M/M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Xeno, a bit of slice of life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 09:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17598773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icey/pseuds/Icey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lua/pseuds/Lua
Summary: Eridan finds Psii first. He’s old and bitter, but Eridan himself is still full of self-hatred and shame. They don’t fit together like pieces of a puzzle, but they cling to the companionship that comes from finding someone else struggling with all the scars and broken pieces they have to try and put together.They try to help each other. They try to make the best of what they have.  They explore and wander and go to the beach. It’s nothing like what either of them is used to.And then they find Dirk. It’s a surprise when they find Dirk but they welcome him into what they have and Dirk welcomes them into his home.None of them knows what they are doing or how to make things better, but they try. God, do they try. It’s a mess full of good intentions and desperation.[Polyswap Big Bang 2019 - Derse]





	1. Eridan

You wake up with a migraine. It's normal. You need to ease back into existence or else the blinding white pain won't leave you alone. It takes three attempts before you feel like you belong in your own body.

There is a warm fingertip tracing the ridges of your left fin. You keep your eyes closed.

You are dizzy; trying to follow the pathway of memories that belong to this version of you when you still get flashes and pieces of memories of thousands of other versions that both are and aren't you leaves you dizzy. You wish you meant that in a figure of speech sort of way but what happens is actual vertigo. You feel like someone shook the whole planet and threw you down off a building to just fall which, all in all, is a bit of overkill. You tense up and the finger caressing your earfin stops for a second before resuming its trail.

“There is a shitty migraine coming your way,” Psii sighs next to you on the pile. He sounds every bit as Captor as he looks. “Try to remember before it hits, dumbfuck.”

His comment annoys you because you’re already trying to ground yourself enough so you no longer feel dizzy. It may be easier for him – some sort of code he was already used to following – but you don’t see him struggling with migraines as bad as yours. You don’t say that out loud; you don’t want to start something leaning pitch with the Imperial Helmsman. It would also be a dick move considering that he shooshed your ass off since you happened to fall into a pile with him. And it may be the case he just hasn’t complained about the shit storm that is waking up in a world that isn’t yours.

You try to blink to look at him but the hive isn’t as dark as you’d have liked and the light _hurts_.

"This fucking sucks," you say in lieu of anything else.

You close your eyes tightly and tried to focus on the feeling of the tip of Psii’s claw. He is careful – unnecessarily so – but you don’t think that’s for your benefit. Well, a little of it, yeah, but not all of it. As it turned out, you aren’t the only one who woke up a little broken.

You hadn’t felt right in your own skin even before you first opened your eyes in the new universe. The victory had been their victory and death had been hard on you so many times. It happened too much and too often and you were left with these impressions of people that weren’t quite you but that also weren’t anyone else. Waking up in the new universe had been traumatic at best and a fucking mistake at worse.

And there were the headaches.

“It’s already here,” he says with a sigh after a moment, realizing what is going on.

Your head is a mess and while you don't have the prerogative on suffering, you do feel entitled to complaining. It's not a matter of being a different person now and more a matter of not being a lot of other versions of yourself that at some point some part of you was. You hate it. You hated it the moment you woke up in their universe.

Not that you liked being a ghost much more than you like this.

You just fucking hate yourself these days. It makes sense, you think. After a lot of time to think and die and have a meaningless existence in which you were stuck and nothing ever happened, you ended up contemplating your life and your choices and how the fuck you ended up dead again and again and again. It was a matter of time until you found the path of self-loathing. You felt it deep in his bones, still too used to self-hating and shame.

Psii sits up a bit and leans over you, making you tense up before you calm down enough to relax and let him rub both sides of your forehead at the same time. He moves his hand to your temple and starts rubbing circles on your forehead while his palm cups your cheek. You still have trouble believing that you fell into a pile with the Imperial Helmsman – from legend and myth – but here he is and here you are. There is energy on the tip of his fingers but it doesn’t spark through you.

You blink slowly and focus on him.

You met him when you first woke up; he was just sitting there on the grass, not very far from you. You didn’t call him Psii back then. You didn’t call him anything back then. You thought he reminded you of Captor and you despised him on first sight. And then your first migraine hit you and he mocked you because you were new and much younger and much much stupider. He didn’t say so, but you knew it anyway.

He held you, then, when you fell back and it had been so long – you had been dead for so long – and suddenly you were not and their victory was written on the sky and this world was new and different and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. So you cried. You cried and ranted and he held you through it like you’ve been palemates for all eternity.

He didn’t say anything, not even when you held on his shirt and didn’t let him go. You just wanted another troll to be there and he accepted it. He petted your hair and shooshed you with hesitance and you had been dead for so long. The feelings came pouring out of you and you made an ass out of yourself like the embarrassment you are.

You had looked at him through the tears and you realized you didn’t know him; he wasn’t the Captor you knew. You snorted and whipped your tears with the back of your hand and asked – demanded, really – to know who he was. And he had laughed at you.

“Psii,” you say softly and reach out for his face. He pities you, you think. He pitied you from the very beginning and it was easy to feel pale for him.

“Stupid,” he says and his lisps bring out memories that aren’t really yours and the hive swirls around you once more.

You snarl and push him back down on the pile. Your feelings for him are complicated at best and you don’t want to think about what they are at worst. He smirks at you and you feel tempted to hold down his arms. You are stronger than he is, you can hold him down if he doesn’t use his psionics on you and you know he won’t because he’s weird about being held down like that. You aren’t sure if it’s a trigger or a turn on and, to be honest, you don’t think he knows which one either.

You don’t pin him down, in the end. You cup his face with both hands and lean down to press your lips against his lips in a chaste kiss.

“I’m bored,” you tell him, out of the blue.

He snorts.

“I’m not doing a very good job here then, am I?” You flick his horn, the smaller one. “Must I entertain the little seadweller?”

“Yes, yes you must. I could go insane because I’m so bored.”

You hold himself half on top of him but you don’t press him down with your weight. Psii gets restless if he can’t move for real – and you have learned that the hard way because the asshole is just as bad at opening up as you are. Were. You guess you’re better at it this time around.

 “I suppose I must take responsibility for your tantrums,” he arches an eyebrow at you and paps your check. It’s nice.

You drop down next to him on the pile. You feel relaxed. Hiding away with Psii and trying to get a grip on being alive again, without the pressure of meeting everyone and talking to them and apologizing again and again and maybe being rejected, maybe they would just kick you out from wherever they were living. What use are your apologies? What would your presence even accomplish? You just don’t want to face any of that and you have a whole new planet to escape in, so you roll over and press your face against Psii’s chest, trying to hide from the whole universe by hiding away with just one troll.

It’s been some time since you two decided to hide away on this hive. You aren’t sure if this is his hive, there is nothing personal lying around or, at least, nothing that couldn’t have been deployed at will like this pile. It hadn’t been here a day before. You also aren’t sure if you have a hive of your own waiting for you. You have been hiding here for who knows how long. You think you’d like a hive by the sea, but you aren’t sure there is a sea. You haven’t really done anything on this planet other than fuck off to Psii’s pile when he offered. He doesn’t seem to mind your clinginess and hiding and, truth be told, it looks like he’s doing his own hiding which he was kind enough to share with you.

Psii stretches and gets up. You watch him move out of the room and, for some time, you watch the door leading to the kitchen which he just disappeared through. Eventually, you doze off again. When you wake up, Psii and the migraine are gone.

By now you can tell Psii hates staying in one place for too long, so you don’t worry about it. You do call for him to sound off where he is and, well, if he’s okay at all. Sometimes he likes to fly off to the top of the building and make stuff explode.

This isn’t one of those times.

You get up and stretch. You put on your glasses and you feel like an actual troll again. You go to the kitchen to check out the food. There is almost none, but you don’t want to go through the trouble of getting more. You suppose neither does Psii.

There is a package of sugar grub candy that must be days old on the table. You sniff a piece and eat it anyway on your way to finding Psii. He’s in the room you suppose is meant to be a respiteblock. There is a window and you can see some trees nearby; Psii is watching them like it’s something new. You walk up to him and while he has his back turned to you, you can feel his psionics crackling around you like a reminder that you should not try anything because he could and would fry your thinkpan.

You wrinkle your nose and shake the bag of stale candy in front of him. He doesn’t take any and, instead, he sighs.

You hate it when he just stands there like this. You feel like a failure and the echo of hundreds of other lives agree with that conclusion. You captchalogue the rest of the candy and pull him away from the window. The sight isn’t anything to really hold interest, you suppose, but you find Psii watching the trees time and time again. You suppose it’s nice to have proof that he isn’t on space anymore, but that’s just a guess based on how nice it is to have proof you aren’t in a dreambubble anymore. You don’t like to dwell on it.

You turn Psii around and he just lets you. You wrap your arms around him and rest your cheek on his shoulder. He’s taller than you as it is and you don’t know if you’re still growing in this body. You should but, by all means, you should also have been erased from existence so it’s a wild guess.

“I want to go to the sea,” you confess, voice muffled against his neck. Your earfin twitches and brushes on his chin. Psii is very still in your arms. You aren’t really sure he heard you. “Have you been to the sea?”

As far as you know, he could’ve woken up in the new world just a bit before you did. But he had a hive so it was likely he had been awake for some time. The idea that he found you and decided to keep you sounds both absurd and ridiculously romantic. The sort of thing you wish you could share with Kar.

You wonder where everybody is and what they are doing. Psii is still trapped on his own mind. You pull back and watch his face; his eyes are kinda buzzing. You give him a gentle pap and then move your hand to his hair, running your fingers through it and scratching his scalp lightly with the tips of your claws. It makes your bloodpusher ache a bit when he gets like this.

“Psii, come back here,” you ask. It’s a gentle request but you are ready to hold him by his horns and demand it. He has no business getting lost in the past anymore.

He leans on you and rests his head on your shoulder, careful to not poke you with his horns. He doesn’t say anything so you pet his hair and shooshes him. You think you pity him, truly. He gets weird sometimes. You think being essentially a battery for so long fucked his pan over but you don’t say it.

“There were seadwellers near the water,” he says after a long silence. You take a moment to realize he’s answering your question. Your silence reads as the confusion it is because he adds: “At the coast.”

You laugh.

“I think I can deal with that.” He actually pulls away so you can see him rolling his eyes. You smile a bit. “Do you need me to protect you?”

Psii snorts and swoons at you but you have read enough history to know what led to him becoming the Imperial Helmsman and you know this is actually serious.

“Oh powerful highblood, please protect me.”

Despite the seriousness with which you want to deal with the subject, that actually makes you blush so you flick his smaller horn.

“Shut up.”

“No, I’m serious. You really should protect me.”

“If you’re just going to mock me, I’ll let whatever lives on this planet’s oceans eat you.”

“You wouldn’t. You’d miss me,” he says and finally stands back on his own. He rolls his shoulders and his neck and then seems to remember his arms, stretching them back behind himself before relaxing. He flexes his fingers a few times. “You are already attached to me.”

You stay silent while watching him. He pokes your side, right on a grubscar.

“What?” he demands.

You shrug.

“Do you think someone bothered to map this planet?”

He pauses and frowns a bit. The subject change wasn’t subtle at all, but these days, you have given up on keeping a single line of thought.

“I suppose I could ask.”

“So could I,” you tell him because you want to make it perfectly clear that you know he’s no longer part of a computer. You think about telling him that this could be the perfect excuse to reach out to Kar but you don’t really want to do that and you’re trying to be more honest about your feelings. You settle for making it clear you aren’t asking him to search and check things for you, although that would make things easier. “I’m just wondering. I mean, I could probably do it myself,” you say and shrug it off.

“The maps?” he asks and he sounds genuinely curious. You nod and he hums at you. “I guess I could do it, too.”

“And there you go ruining my fun. This is why I can’t have nice things,” you whine at him and then chuckle. “I suppose I can let you help me.”

You don’t bring that up again for another couple of days. By then, one of you would have to definitely suck it up and go get food so it’s as good a time to leave this place for good as any. You tell Psii so and, for a moment, you think he’ll tell you to fuck off on your own.

“You were serious,” he frowns at you.

“Yeah,” you say and you reach out to him. He holds your hand and squeezes it moving his hand to your wrist and gently holding onto you like you are a breakable wriggler. “I miss my hive. My island,” you add despite the embarrassment of saying so. You hate it and for a moment you hate him. “I know it won’t be there. It’s not…I’m not stupid.”

Psii sighs like you said the exact opposite of what you actually told him. He looks at you with pity written all over his face.

“It’s as dumb an idea as any,” you say and glare at him for a moment before looking away.

“Yeah, it is,” he agrees. You feel tempted to tell him he doesn’t have to go with you, but you’re afraid he’ll agree to that, too. “It’s dangerous to go alone,” he smirks and you roll your eyes at him. Psii pull you close and kisses you. It makes your bloodpusher flutter. It also makes your fins flutter, but that’s on a whole other level of ridiculousness. He’s still smirking against your lips and you feel his fangs behind his lips. You bite his bottom lip as gently as you can – your own teeth weren’t really made to this soft teasing, but you’ve managed pretty well so far.

He pulls back and sucks his own bottom lip while watching you. He wriggles his eyebrows at you and you scoff at him, but you know you look a little purple on the face.

“We could fly,” he suggests after he successfully gets you to blush.

You haven’t tried any of that god-tier bullshit since you woke up here. You think you have enough to deal with without that and you don’t really like the whole concept of flying since your lusus died. It brings back memories from before and from the game and you don’t think you can handle so much grief at once.

For a moment, you wonder if Psii miss soaring through space. The idea that anyone would miss being part of a fucking ship freaks you out a bit, but, at the same time, you know people get used to the weirdest things and they goddamn miss it despite themselves.

“I’d rather walk,” you say and, in the end, it’s what you two do.

Psii gets you supplies for the trip and you’re sure he knows better than you what sort of supplies are needed for walking into the wilderness to try to find a beach. Before you leave, you cave and message Kar to ask for directions because you would rather not wander in the opposite direction than the one you meant to go. It takes a day just waiting for his answer but you don’t mind it. A migraine is back for vengeance with bloodthirsty anger and, while the sun on this planet doesn’t burn you down, the brightness does make everything so much worse.

When you finally leave, it takes a few days for you to truly get out of the outskirts of civilization in which you have been living with Psii. He seems to mind the idea of walking through the new planet more than he wants to admit to you. You don’t ask because you think you know what’s going on; you’re just glad he decided to endure it because of you.

Sometimes, you hold his hand and caress it, but you try to not make him feel trapped. It also feels stupid to walk around holding him like he’s a balloon that’s going to drift away as soon as the wind hits. Psii’s deep in thought and quiet most of the way so he doesn’t tease you about that, but you can do your own head in if left alone long enough. Even so, you don’t mind his silence. You keep an eye on him because you are done being a shitty moiral for any lifetime, but you don’t mind the silence itself. When you do – if you do – you are vocal about it, but you had also had enough of a non-stop lisping rant for any lifetime so it’s mostly fine.

You don’t tell him that. You didn’t tell him about the sprite shenanigans yet; you feel that is something that will have to be drawn out of you instead of freely offered. You don’t know why.

It’s not the adventure you expected. The walk itself is boring and, now that you can’t wash them, your gills are itchy under your scarf. Sometimes you feel dizzy like you’re falling like the ground is waving under you like there is no ground at all. Sometimes you feel sick to your stomach. More often than not, you wake up and you have a migraine, but you never get used to it. You keep waiting to the point the migraines will fade out completely and it sucks, but Psii’s presence makes it a little better. He holds you and pets your hair and doesn’t let you fall.

Your map doesn’t come out the way you wanted. You think you’ll have to explore the place a lot more seriously if you want to make a proper map, but with your head messed up and Psii’s in a mood, you just don’t think that will happen right now. Your attempt, as it is, is dumb.

It’s a few more days before your path leads you to the water. You hear it before you see it and you get excited enough that it makes Psii laugh. You grab his hand and pull him along until you can see the sea.

It looks nothing like Alternia's ocean but you get overwhelmed by homesickness and suddenly you miss everything all over. It's hard and you can't just bring yourself to say out loud that you miss the things you lost because you aren't a fucking wriggler anymore and you’re done being an embarrassment to yourself.

You notice Psii's breathing harder by your side. You turn to him and put a hand on the back of his neck. He flinches but you pull him closer because you know better by now.

"Are you afraid of the sea?"

Sometimes you misunderstand Psii’s emotions. He doesn’t always get your own emotions right either, so you think it’s fair enough. You rarely do it on purpose though. There is some noise coming from your left and it distracts you from Psii's panic.

You should’ve noticed it before – you would’ve noticed it before if only you were another version of yourself, someone warier, someone more attentive, someone else – but there is a hive on the beach, far away enough from the path that people don’t simply end up there. It isn’t actually hidden tough. You give Psii’s nape a light squeeze so he would look at it, too. The place looks like it was built for – by – one of the humans and it’s pretty much just shaped like a box. It’s an ugly building.

“Do you think someone lives there?” you ask in a whisper. Psii looks at you through the corner of his eyes; you don’t know what he’s thinking. You feel like an asshole already for being mesmerized by a building but it fills you with hope. You are already making plans of moving into that hive and being away from everyone when Psii’s voice finally pulls you back from your romanticizing fantasies.

“Do you think it’s another _troll_?”

You hadn’t considered it. You suppose it could be another troll, but…but you don’t want to deal with that possibility because it could be Fef – she would’ve liked to live by the sea, you think, and you simply don’t have any idea where the hell she is these days – and you don’t want to deal with Fef. Not yet, maybe not ever. You can feel Psii tense by your side. You don’t think Psii can deal with an heiress. Or any other seadweller – which makes you feel a little special, but it’s not the point.

You hook your fingers on the back of the collar of his shirt like he’s going to barge into that hive if you let go. You tilt your head to indicate the opposite side of the beach and when you turn around you actually get startled by the human standing there. The thought of someone just sneaking up on you makes you uncomfortable and the fact he looks like a douche makes you annoyed at him for having the upper hand.

Your first instinct isn’t as much of a growl as it would’ve been before, but it still shows him a bit of fang. You narrow your eyes and tighten your hold on Psii.

“It looks like all you’re missing is a leash,” the human tells you and, although you probably know his name if you dive into your past memories, you feel that just calling him human is alright. You don’t feel as bad about it as you feel about calling Psii the Imperial Helmsman in your mind, but you suppose that comes with feelings. You don’t feel much for this guy but you do respect that he, at least, showed up with a weapon.

Psii narrows his eyes at the insult and you can’t help but smirk because you are pretty sure no one can just safely get on Psii’s nerves without some pretty awful outcomes.

“Now, now, no need to go on strife mode,” the human says and there is laughter on his voice even if there is no change in his facial expression. “No one ever visits. Come on in.”

He walks past you and you frown a bit while your eyes follow him. Psii reaches back on his neck and squeezes your hand lightly so you’d let go. You look at him and he nods before pulling you with him towards the hive.


	2. Dirk

You wake up alone in bed. It’s normal. The two trolls living in your house for about months now both seem to dislike the bed.

As far as you could tell, they don’t nourish hatred for any and all reclining sleeping surfaces, just the rectangular flat ones. Just the bed. It’s fine, you tell yourself and try not to make it personal. To be quite honest, you didn’t expect to have company and you had resigned yourself to waking up alone because, well, that was pretty much your own doing, wasn’t it? You tried hanging out with Jake for a while but old habits die hard, the self-loathing won that battle with ease and the guilt ended up being overwhelming.

You wanted to go home and that was when you knew you were fucked because home wasn't even that good of a place, to begin with. You moved to the beach which you argued with yourself to be a healthy enough proximity with the open sea and not at all isolating like, say, an apartment in the middle of an ocean. It was far enough that hardly anyone came by but not so far that you could be accused of actively avoiding anyone. In fact, you had argued your way out of that exact corner at least twice by now. All in all, your friends found out what an asshole you are a long time ago.

You stretch and stare at the ceiling for a little. You don’t have anywhere to be or anything you should be doing, so you can just chill in bed and reminiscence like an old man until someone decides to pester you to get up. Usually, that’s Hal and this is what routine looks like these days and you got used to it so you try to not judge it too harshly.

But then the trolls happened to find you.

You don’t make it your business to collect stray trolls out of the road, but you made an exception for these two because truth be told, you were feeling pretty lonely that day. Sometimes, their presence annoys you, but more often than not, you are glad someone showed up and established shop in your living room because, sometimes, you did your own head in like that, and it very rarely resulted in a solution just being sent your way. It was luck, you guess, and you are not looking a horse gift in the mouth now, are you?

So what if they dislike the bed. You can deal.

You yawn and scratch your stomach. You should be getting up before your guests – can you even call them that when they just ended up moving in with you like they didn’t have anywhere better to be – show up at your door to check on you. This is what replaced Hal’s wake up calls. Your routine is all messed up now but who are you kidding, you like it when they check on you. Eridan does it more often than Psii – “Psii,” you mouth without saying it out loud because the nickname is still foreign to you. You don’t do this whole intimacy thing and it being left on your doorsteps unprompted leaves you unbalanced around the details. To be quite honest, you didn’t expect them to move in even if you were not complaining about it – which you are definitely not doing – but it being the exact outcome from inviting in some random travelers that showed up at your beach on a bad day still baffles you. They were very obviously a couple when they arrived and you like to feel invited into that instead of just stepping in.

You sigh and rub your eyes. You sit in bed. Getting up is a slow affair at best, and it’s not happening at all at worst. You can hear them in the kitchen. You stocked up on food, but now that you have a traditional household with three people – if traditional can ever be applied to two aliens and a human who are all male and all down to snuggle on the couch and kiss each other. You suppose words can get new meanings in a new world, so you’re just going to say you are whatever you want to say you are – food tends to run out faster. It’s stuff like that that makes it a bad choice to lock yourself away with only a sentient A.I. to talk you out of the bed when he feels like it. You just meant to remind yourself to make a grocery list and suddenly twenty minutes have passed and you’re staring at the wall like it owes you money.

Eridan interrupts you by opening the door and walking in. He did that on the second day after they arrived and just woke you up like it was not your house and your prerogative to mope away in bed as much as you wanted at any given time. He throws a robot arm at you this time and you are fast enough to catch it.

“Your stray stuff keeps getting in our pile.”

For the first few weeks after they arrived, Eridan and Psii would pile up in the couch or in an actual pile made of things they picked along the way and that looked a lot like alien trash, but you got used to it pretty fast. You had your own piles back before the game and you’re working on building new ones now.

“I would say your pile keeps getting on my stray stuff as this is, still, my house.”

He rolls his eyes at you and crosses his arms. He’s stubborn. They are both stubborn, but Eridan takes space.

“Sure, keep acting like you don’t want me here.”

You do want him here – you want both of them here – so you reached out with your hand and wait until he gives up on sulking, steps closer and place his hand on top of your palm. You grab his hand and pull him fast when he finally does it. His fins show his surprise by flaring up and you feel this is a victory. You fall back in bed with him against your chest.

“Dumbass,” he complains, but instead of getting up, he makes himself comfortable on top of you. He rests his face on his hand like his elbow isn’t trying to merge with your chest, but that’s fine. You aren’t really sure where he stands with you romantically. He gives you very conflicting signs most of the time.

“Fragile human here,” you say and poke his arm. He snorts and pushes himself up to give you a peck on the lips by purposefully digging his elbow right by your nipple. “Asshole.”

He grins at you, pleased and full of sharp shark-like teeth. You push yourself up and roll over him and – since you’re a fucking gentleman – you support yourself with your hands on the mattress instead of using him as part of the furniture. He may be stronger but you are faster and this turn of events catches him by surprise. You lean down and kiss him. It always surprises you how cold he is, but it’s damn nice when you are kissing and he sucks on your lips and slips his tongue into your mouth. He pushes you away and makes a face at you.

“Gross,” he complains and you snort a laugh.

“I promise to go brush my teeth before further endeavors,” you vouch but he just rolls his eyes and gets up, dropping you right back where you start plus stray robot arm.

You sigh and push yourself out of bed. You go to the bathroom, brush your teeth and all like a good boy, but don’t bother with your hair or shades. These people have seen you waking up and there isn’t really a reason to be so hung up on those anymore. You are just…used to it, you think. You’re all spares here; you’re just glad you aren’t the only one. The spares, as think of you,  all had that haunted look of someone who had too much time and too many thoughts they would rather avoid in their hands.  You were all unnecessary so what use is it to fake your way into being presentable.

You notice Hal’s message but you don’t check on it and eventually, you make your way to the kitchen with only the bare minimum of overthinking leading to it. You’re hungry.

Psii is eating cereal at the table and he glances at you when you walk in. You flash him a smile and grab a cereal bowl, planning on joining him at the table. Your laziness proved itself useful because all the extra dishes – or blankets, or pillows, or pretty much anything extra that you decided you needed to live by yourself – has become useful since Eridan and Psii moved in.

You notice that Psii – the heathen – added no milk to his cereal. For a moment, you stand there with your bowl, just judging him.

"Eridan has it on his mind to go hunting later," Psii tells you when you finally sit down.

You find it laughable, but you have an inkling that this might offend at least one out of two alien boyfriends, so you just nod like it is fucking common practice around here.

“I’d think he’d rather go fishing.”

“Assumptions make an ass out of you and me,” Eridan calls from the living room. “And I have been swimming while your lazy-ass was still in bed.”

You grab the cereal box and just let him have the argument.

Psii finishes his cereal before you are even done pouring milk on yours and he is out of the door just as fast as he can. You learned to not take offense in that because a) he hates standing still longer than he absolutely has to which is weird because sometimes he just stands outside, watching the sea, totally still like a freaking statue and b) he lets his fingers linger on the back of your neck when he passes your chair on his way out.

You get up, get your bowl and follow him into the living room. Sure enough, Eridan is clearly getting ready to go out to hunt some still uncatalogued wildlife. You think about suggesting he goes fishing again, but you think about it for a moment longer and decide to just stuff your mouth with cereal instead of picking a fight. You drop yourself on the couch and hold the bowl away from your body to avoid any splashing.

“Oi,” Psii complains when you almost hit him with it.

You offer him a shrug and that seems like enough of an invitation for him to squeeze himself between you and the arm of the couch.  Eridan gets up and points at you two on the couch.

"Don't get in any trouble while I'm gone. In fact, don't do anything at all while I'm gone," he says and you can tell Psii gets angsty at the implication. You can tell Eridan can tell, too. "Fine. Just don't... I don't know, blow up the hive or set it on fire or run away...You get it."

You got it, you're fairly sure Psii got it as well, but your fish troll can't stop digging this hole he got in.

You turn to Psii and ask: "Wanna fuck then?”

You ask Psii that with your mouth still full of cereal, very much aware of how unsexy it is. It shuts Eridan up mid-sentence.

"I'm down," Psii says with a smirk. You don’t know if he finds you, specifically, amusing or the whole situation amusing. Probably both, just to have it be a pair.

Eridan lets out an annoyed sigh and turns around to leave, but you still catch a glimpse of his sad fins flattened down. You think it's cute that he wears his feelings so openly, but, in truth, he does not. He's just easy to read, you think, but you’d probably be easy to read too if you had something attached to your face that flagged the direction your emotions were going. You think that right now he's feeling left out and you plan on making it up to him later by getting between his legs and going to town. You figured everyone in this house is at their least prone to implode right after they have been properly sexed up.

Yourself included on the list of course.

You put your bowl on the table and turn to Psii. He watches your bowl for a minute before deciding to move your spoon around with his psionics just to be the show off you know deep in your bones he was his whole life. He is concentrating on the spoon, moving his finger to guide it in such a way you consider making him watch some dumb movie with wizards and witches doing something like that. It's a stupid thought that gets overridden by your decision to avoid thinking about Eridan's hurt feelings until he is back by fucking his quadrantmate. To be fair, you are pretty confident you got one of Psii's quadrants as well, you are just not sure which one because he is a moody bastard.

You move and straddles Psii's lap.

"I was hella serious."

He snorts and put his hands on your thighs. The spoon makes a sound when it's suddenly dropped back on the bowl.

You wonder if Eridan would feel jealous. You do, sometimes. You also feel left out and you get enough of that already without having company to act it out in your face. It's not like you have been needed often since the game.

Or needed at all.

Psii distracts you by patting your cheek.

"Isn't that cheating," you chuckle but lean on his hand anyway. It's comforting.

You allow yourself to lean into the touch and close your eyes. You would have purred if you could purr at all. Psii takes that as an invitation to kiss you.

"I pity you, too," he says and that jerks you out of your daze for a moment before your alien knowledge kicks in. You smile at him, just a bit but still. You want to tell him that you like him too, but you don't feel comfortable saying that sort of thing out loud. You think about texting him that later, but he kisses you again and derails your train of thought.

You like how he moves his fingers up your thigh. He always touches you like that's the most important task in the world like it demands all of his attention. When you see him touching Eridan like that, you get jealous. He puts all his focus on touching you and where Eridan is desperately clingy and needy, Psii is all focus and dedication. They are a fucking good match and you keep crashing their party like you belong in it. Maybe you should be pitied in the human sense of the word.

 

You sigh and he makes an inquisitive noise while still trying to kiss you out of this state of mind. You lean into the kiss and put your hand between his legs to try and tease his sheath until his bonebulge is out. You have given up on not ruining the furniture with bodily fluids some time ago when it was clear that they were staying and that sex was becoming a thing that just happened whenever. You tease him through his clothes the best you can. You lick his bottom lip before you pull back. Psii chases your lips to kiss you again and you smirk against his lips because that’s a victory. You think they are so cute. You think you caught feelings. Fuck. You like them and you want them around and you can't bring yourself to say anything because you already know you will fuck this up royally. You will probably have to move out to an island on the other side of the planet just to get away from the shame.

You hold on to Psii’s shirt, tenser than you should be in this situation. Psii looks at you for a moment before deciding that what you need is truly a distraction and trying to suck on your bottom lip. His fangs end up catching your skin. You like that.

He caresses your cheek and paps you again. You just let go and lean against his chest. He moves a hand to the back of your neck to play with your hair. It's relaxing and you feel loved.

You let go of his shirt, move your hand to Psii's cheek and he nuzzles your palm with his eyes closed. You get the sudden urge to pull back, put a stop to this nonsense you have going on before it goes south, but he wraps his arms around you and pulls you even closer against his chest. You hide your face on the curve of his neck.

Psii moves his hand from your thigh to your dick, touching it through your boxers. It really helps that you decided to forego pants today. He presses his palm lightly against you and before you realize you are rocking your hips to rub on his hand.

"Nasty," you whisper against his neck and he chuckles.

You almost jump out of your skin when the door opens again with more strength that would have been needed and slams against the wall. Both of you turn to look at the source of noise, ready to stop it all, pretend it never happened and engage whoever or whatever it was in a fight. It isn’t needed as it’s just Eridan standing there and, by the looks of it, he decided to turn back before he got into properly hunting.

“I thought I should join,” he says, but he keeps standing by the door until you reach out with a hand for him and actually invites him to do as he says he should.

He hurries to sit next to Psii, snuggling his side and being careful to not poke anyone’s eye out with his horns when he rests his face on Psii’s shoulder. You notice Psii tensing up because the lack of mobility, but, before you can do anything, Eridan reaches out to his face and holds his chin to make him turn his head so he could kiss him. You’re pretty sure they are deviants from what should be the norm for a pale relationship, but you can’t say that you are the norm for anything going down at this place since a long time ago.

You don't know what Eridan's plan was but you intervene before shit hits the fan. You put a hand on his shoulder and pretty much throw yourself at him, making him fall back on the couch with you on top. You are pretty sure you almost kneed Psii on the groin but, all in all, most if not all imminent disasters were avoided by your apparent sudden urge to top Eridan.

Psii just watches the graceless mess that is your kiss for a moment before laughing softly and putting a hand on the small of your back. The temperature contrast makes you shiver and break the kiss.

"Jealous much?" Eridan says softly, still very close to your lips.

"Nah," you lie to his face and sit back.

You're half on Eridan's lap. You crawl properly into his lap and reach down his pants like there is free candy inside. He makes a squeaky noise; it seems you were too bold even after all this time. Psii is busy ghosting his claws down your spin and making your body hair stand up because of the static on his fingers. It’s very distracting but you’re very committed to getting at least one tentabulge out to play so you make the effort to not just mewl on top of Eridan and snake your hand between his legs.

You press your fingers against his nook and rub its folds to try and get all of his genitals interested in the action. It doesn’t take long for his bulge to start trashing against your wrist. You think it’s time to get him naked but Psii does it before you actually do anything about it by captchaloguing all of your clothes. You look at Eridan and you both chuckle, embarrassed at the sudden nakedness, even if you were all thinking about that.

With more room to move your hand, you decide to finger Eridan. His bulge is trashing between you two for a bit, but it soon finds your own dick to wrap itself around it. You moan. Psii’s bulge is moving against your butt cheeks and it’s so easy to be distracted by them when they got you like this. And that’s the thing: they got you right in the middle and you feel like a part of this. Your breath picks up and you twist your fingers inside Eridan because you won’t be the only one losing your shit like a virgin here.

Psii properly kneels behind you and holds your hips. At first, you can feel his claws almost digging into your skin, but he loosens up his hold after a moment. You protest by pushing your ass back against him. Eridan puts a hand on your cheek and guides you into a kiss. His bulge squeezes your dick and you start fucking him with your fingers. By the time Psii’s bulge is trying to get inside of you, you and Eridan are both a panting mess.

You moan louder when Psii gets his bulge inside you and you shiver all over. Eridan pulls you down against his chest and makes you stick your ass up for Psii to ram you. You can’t really move your hand and keep the action going on Eridan’s nook like this, but he doesn’t seem to mind. You do mind because this feels like it’s too much just for your benefit and you don’t like it when sex feels like a favor.

You push yourself back up and can’t help the shiver that runs through you when you pretty much sit on Psii’s very much moving bulge. You untangled Eridan’s tentacle from your dick and guide your own dick into his nook. He watches you with interest while you do so. Again, the temperature contrast does you in and you have to catch your breath just from that. You’re a mess and you want to turn them into a mess too. Because you really like these losers.

It doesn’t take long before you get close to orgasm and you know enough about troll culture to not just let go inside someone. You feel tempted to because it feels like such a filthy thing to do with the context, but you think you’re going to talk about it with them first. At some point.

You pull out and come on Eridan’s thighs. His bulge is still trashing around your now much more sensitive dick and you catch it to rub it. You can feel Psii’s fluids starting to drip out of you, but he also takes his time to pull out before he came. You let him pull you back with him, sort of into his very slippery lap. You bend over and lick Eridan’s bulge to make it feel better for all the neglect it suffered. You don’t really have it in you to try to deepthroat it right now because you don’t want to accidentally die by choking on slurry in case one of your aliens can’t pull out, but you keep licking and rubbing it until Eridan comes, too.

You’re sweaty and even if Eridan and Psii aren’t, they need a shower as well. The couch is ruined, but that is nothing new. You’re all nasty enough to not mind the stains.

“Now I think I could go swimming,” Eridan says softly.

“Yeah, it could be nice,” you agree and Eridan beams at you. He tilts his head to look at Psii. You don’t need to look to know Psii is rolling his eyes.

“Fine,” he says, at least.

You laugh. You’re glad you have them to break the routine.


	3. The Psiioniic

You wake up feeling trapped. It's normal. These days you are trying to relearn how to not be alone.

You open and close your hands, trying to focus on feeling your arms again. Being alive again is fucked up and you wish whoever– who are you kidding, you know well enough who has the sort of powers to bring a shitload of people back from the dead – has decided to bring you back from peaceful death just to have all your memories still in place is a wicked and cruel type. There is no surprise in that; you already knew it from a lifetime as the imperial battery. You don’t think you will be able to go back to sleep in the middle of this mass of warm and cold bodies that are all around you, holding you down and keeping you from moving too much.

You feel sick.

You untangle yourself from both princes and get up. Eridan blinks slowly, mostly still asleep, and Dirk makes a noise that you take as a complaint. Neither of them stops you from getting up which is more than welcomed. They usually go out of their way to make sure you don't feel trapped; you can tell they are doing it even if they think they are smooth as fuck with their tiptoeing around you because they are as subtle as a punch to the face. You are not about to tell them they look guilty like wrigglers up to no good when they do it; it's cute but also really stupid and funny. It helps distract you from whatever is making you feel claustrophobic in an open room.

You decide to go outside. You like watching the waves break on the beach before sunset. The beach is full of rocks and has very little sand and, at night, Eridan says it reminds him of Alternia, except it clearly isn’t anything like home. Just the lack of moons makes the sky look wrong and the water looked…well, it didn’t look that weird, but it was different enough that he felt it. You wouldn’t know, back on Alternia, you always avoided the coast – it was an unnecessary risk. You always avoided the day, too, back then. The sun here is very different from the one back on Alternia which is nice and also, after a really long time in space, you have come to really like having days at all. In particular, you like the days _here_. You think your friends from back then would like the days just as much.

Sometimes you wonder how your friends – and they are still your friends even if you avoid them like a dick or even if they are dead or even if you are having a fever dream while still being attached to the Helm's column – are doing now but you can't bring yourself to look for them. You lived a lifetime after they were all gone and you feel so bad about it. You wanted to die, you really did, and it was out of your hands.

You look at your hands. You still haven't gotten used to them. Every time you want to touch something it takes all your attention to make sure your hands are doing exactly what you want them to. Psionics is so easy in comparison; actual flesh and bone fingers are hard to control.

The sun is almost setting. You sit on the steps outside the hive and watch the beach. You can’t remember if the beaches of Alternia had so little sand like this one. It’s small rocks all around; Dirk can’t even walk around barefoot for too long without injuring himself and having Eridan fuss over it. By now, you’re sure that Dirk likes worrying him for the attention. You wonder if you get played by them just as easily and as often; it must look dumb as hell from the outside but it happened that you ended up pitying two losers that are alike in so many ways that you have to accept you really have a type.

You hear the door open and close. You don't need to look over your shoulder to know it's Eridan – Dirk seems set on giving you all the space you could need and more – and you are sure he was the agreed envoy to come check on you. It makes sense considering how you deep dived into a pale fling with him right after he woke up. It’s no longer, strictly speaking, only pale and it’s also not a fling, but you spent too long having things organized neatly to just embrace the idea of feeling outside your quadrants as easily as you did once. He’s your diamond that just so happens to, sometimes, also get your heart. Nothing people haven’t seen a million times on movies and music videos and books, yeah, it was a pretty common aspect to explore back before the planet went up in flames.

He sits next to you on the steps and leans on your shoulder; his fin brushes on your arm. He's wrapped in a blanket.

"A migraine?" you ask him. He shakes his head a bit to indicate that wasn't the case.

"Daymare?" he asks in turn and this time you shake your head.

He cuddles you. You watch the sun setting over the water.

It was lucky for you that Dirk is mostly nocturnal as well. You never asked him directly but Eridan has told you most humans would rather stay up during the day. Sometimes, one or all of you do try to stay up during the day, in particular when someone decides to start a new project like a cleaning robot or hunting or playing with a pencil, no one is judging. That usually leads to night and day blurring together because there is no stopping either of them or you until you are all so tired that you just fall asleep anywhere. Or when you finish what you set out to do. Either way, being nocturnal or diurnal in times of obsession doesn’t matter. Eridan rants about it like you or Dirk are about to drop dead after a couple days of little to no sleep. Dirk keeps checking on you and Eridan when he isn’t the one with a project. You, on the other hand, try to stay out of the way waiting for them to get off the ceiling.

You watch them and keep them company and kiss them when they get back but you’re mostly a silent watcher. You get locked in your own mind sometimes, but where you internalize a lot of shit, they need to feel in control of something. They are a lot alike and you pity both of them in very similar ways. It's embarrassing and if it wasn't for the human among you acting like it was no big deal, you are sure it would be a very big deal.

“Go back to sleep,” you tell Eridan.

“Don’t wanna,” he says, muffled against your shoulder.

“Dirk will miss you.”

He groans and lets go of your shoulder, slouching next to you and visibly sulking.

“Dirk can hear you,” Dirk informs you both and, after a little bit, you hear the door open behind you again.

He doesn’t join you both on the steps which you appreciate given that it would be too crowded. You throw your head back to look at him and he gives you a little wave from his spot at the door.

After the sun is done setting, you stretch and get up, offering your hands to Eridan so he can use you as a support to get up too.

“Back inside,” you inform him and Dirk walks back in before you get Eridan up.

When you finally manage to drag a very sleepy and grumpy Eridan back inside, you find Dirk lying face down on the couch. He’s snoring a bit and that makes you snort a laugh. You drop Eridan on top of him like a cold blanket and he mumbles “Bitch” before rolling to the side as much as the couch would let him, so he ends up being only half under Eridan. You grin at him and he yawns while looking at you.

You walk around for a bit, too free for comfort, and, eventually, you just sit on the floor and pick a game to play while they sleep on the couch. The new universe brought with it a type of freedom that wasn’t welcome nor was it comforting. Sometimes, life can be really boring and it fucks you up that your traitor brain makes you miss being part of a ship. You don’t really know how to kick back and relax; you’re used to being on all the time every day, every second, and to have, at least, one thing running in the background when you weren’t doing anything.

You lean against the couch and rest your head on Dirk’s knee until you can feel a headache forming on the base of your head. You put the joystick down on the floor, but, on second thought, you use your psionics to push it out of the way. It’s easier than to kick it out of the way and it numbs your mind in a way that you think you could easily blow up the whole hive if you don’t pay attention. You stretch and watch your fingers while you move them up in the air. There is a tingling in your hands that don’t seem to ever go away.

You get up and bend over to rub your legs. You consider going back to sleep, but it doesn’t seem like an attractive option. You go to the kitchen. For a moment, you consider cleaning everything. Everyone in this hive is a messy fucker which means things pile up until someone needs them or there are crawling things living in it. Dirk has introduced you to the idea of a chorus wheel – although he hasn’t ever used one himself – and now there are two wheels on the door of the fridge. One of them is to set who will go get proper food in the nearest city and one for the actual chores. You haven’t touched the second one in weeks and now almost all the plates and bowls and everything else in the house is carefully piled in the sink so it won’t fall over. You think it’s a good exercise for your hands to wash this stuff sometimes, but it’s also a dull task. You aren’t in the mood for it.

You check the fridge and find eggs that Eridan collected in one of his hunting adventures. He is pretty good at it, but the conceited tone he gets makes you tease him more than praise him. You do praise him when he gets pouty with his fins flat on the sides of his face and so _so_ pitiful. You still can’t quite believe that you ended up in bed with a seadweller and an alien. You think your friends would be proud of you from stepping out of the hemospectrum boundaries but they would also tease you so much you would probably die of embarrassment. Not for the first time today, you think about contacting them.

A pair of arms wraps themselves around your middle and Dirk’s full body weight is pressed against your back. Your step falters a bit but you don’t fall or anything as ridiculous as that.

“What did the eggs do to you,” he asks and yawns. You close the fridge.

“Just wondering if they are edible.”

“We could make a bet out of it. Loser has to eat them, if that will make you stop sulking so hard in the middle of the kitchen that it wakes me up in another room,” he says and moves one hand up your chest to your neck. He’s warm. “Are you going to short-circuit?”

You roll your eyes.

“No.”

“Are you sure? Because the electronics were buzzing like there were bees in their cables. Angry bees. Bees who want out to take over the place and enslave the locals, which, for us, is a less than ideal scenario.”

You snort a laugh. It’s an ugly sound.

“I’m not short-circuiting.” Dirk presses a kiss between your shoulder blades and you smile. “That helps tho.”

“I figured it would. It usually does,” he said and made a trail of kisses up your neck, following your spine.

“So I’m that predictable now, hmm.”

“Shut up. You’re just complaining to be a contrary fuck.”

It’s true but you think he needs to hear it.

“True.”

He rests his chin on your shoulder and the only reason you don’t lean back is that you don’t want to risk poking his eyes with your horns by accident.

“Are you making breakfast?”

“I was thinking about it but I got complaints, you see. It seems that makes the electronics buzz so I don’t know,” you say and shrug a bit. Dirk laughs softly near your ear and pulls you closer, hugging you tightly from behind.

“Could I change your mind, perhaps? Offer you a little bribe?”

“I don’t think that would hurt the odds of me making breakfast, no.”

Dirk lets go of you and turn you around so you’re facing each other. His hair is a mess; it suits him. You ran your fingers through his hair before he drops to his knees in front of you and pulls your pants down. You hesitate for a moment before putting your hand on his head again.

He reaches out for your pants and you have lived with him long enough to know where this road is taking you. You’re not about to complain but you do feel somewhat guilty. You’re aware you haven’t let go of your binary obsessions but, for once, you think you are not the only one wanting to keep things in two for yourself. At some point, you’ll try to sort out your quadrants or whatever this is, but not right now when he’s about to lick that concern out of you.

Dirk presses a kiss to your hip. You keep playing with his hair; just careful enough to not chock him. He trails kisses down your hip to your sheath where your bulge is already coming out to play. Neither you nor Eridan risk doing to Dirk the sort of things he does to you because his skin is soft and your teeth are sharp and you think it’d be more unpleasant than the attempt is worth. You lean back against the fridge and close your eyes.

Dirk licks the opening of the sheath and teases your bulge out with his tongue. His hands keep caressing your thighs and it’s such a nice feeling. You curl your toes and let out a pleased sigh.

“I haven’t even started yet,” he warms you, but you already knew that.

You open your eyes to watch him. Your bulge is out by now, twisting on itself and trying to find something to wrap itself around. Dirk keeps giving it small encouraging licks, teasing you like he usually does. He likes being a tease and he doesn’t mind the payback. You thrust your hips forward a bit, trying to ask for more attention. He gives it to you by sucking the tip of your bulge and sliding a hand over it. It makes you shudder and it makes your bulge almost get itself in a knot trying to get more of that.

You’re so distracted you didn’t notice Dirk moving his hand up to touch your nook. He slides his fingers against you, using your own wetness to make them slick. He leans closer, still keeping hold of your right thigh and follow his fingers with his tongue.

You let out a pleased noise and that’s all the encouragement he needs before he’s trying to fuck your nook with his tongue. Your bulge trashes around and hits Dirk’s face a couple times, leaving a trail of slickness on his cheek. He doesn’t seem to mind and you kinda like seeing it. It’s erotic in a way that checks a very specific kinky box for you.

Dirk pushes his fingers into your nook, curls them a few times and licks around them, between them. He thrusts his tongue in and out of you and you find yourself breathing faster. He squeezes your leg and pulls back.

“Fuck,” you say.

Dirk chuckles and catches your trashing bulge with his hand, guiding it into his mouth. He sucks on it and you hold on to the fridge because your legs are threatening to give up on you. He teases your bulge with his tongue, twisting it around your bulge. You are enjoying the warmth of his mouth but you also wonder how it would feel if Eridan could do this to you. You can’t help the way your bulge keeps trying to go deeper. You can tell he gags a bit around you by the way his throat clenches around you.

You moan.

Dirk pulls back enough to be able to only tease the tip of your bulge, sucking and licking on it until you grab his hair in frustration. He moans at that.  Your bulge keeps trying to find its way back into Dirk’s mouth and the tips end up slipping and hitting him on the nose. He twists the fingers he still has up your nook and you moan again. You’re a mess. You need a bucket so you say so.

“I need a bucket.”

Dirk doesn’t seem to care and goes back to licking your bulge like you are made of goddamn candy. You pull him back by his hair just seconds before you spill your genetic material all over your legs and his hand and the fucking kitchen floor.

You look up to find Eridan on the doorway, still wrapped on his blanket. He makes a face at you.

“Leaning on the fridge? Gross.”

“I know, right?” Dirk peeps in, still looking very pleased with himself. “Disgusting. I want no part in it.” You flick him on the forehead and he grins at you. “Psii is making us breakfast.”

“It better not be cereal after,” Eridan paused and just waves his hand and his blanket at you, summing up the mess. “This.”

“Awn, now you’re just bitter you were asleep and missed all the fun,” you say.

“You bet your goddamn ass I am bitter.”

 “Omelet?” you offer and smile fondly at him. He ends up rolling his eyes at you, but you’re pretty sure he isn’t about to sulk anymore.

“Clean the goddamn mess first!” he orders and storms out of the kitchen.

You don’t want to clean up the kitchen, but you guess you will. In a bit, when you the afterglow passes and can safely move your legs. Dirk gets up and throws you a kiss.

“I’m not helping,” he says and reaches past you to make the arrow of the chores wheel point to your name. “The wheel has my back.”

You use your psionics to make the arrow on the wheel spin like crazy for a moment just to not go down without a complaint. All in all, you don’t really mind it. You’re pretty sure they are going to busy themselves with each other now. You’re pretty happy with how things turned out for you. You guess you’re pretty happy with them; happy enough to not mind letting them laze around while you clean the kitchen.

You let out a long suffering sigh anyway just to pester them.

“Totally on you, my dude,” Dirk says like he had nothing to do with what just went down in the kitchen.

 “It’s your own fucking fault,” Eridan adds and you laugh.

Goddamit, you really pity these assholes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this!
> 
> also thanks to Icey and Koko for keep me going. super thanks to Icey for all the hardwork and for being so lovely :D  
> this is the first time i joined such a big event and the word count was not as easy to achieve as i expected XD and then it wasn't as easy to stop as i expected. also quite a few things changed a long the way. anyway this was fun and i hope someone out there will enjoy reading it!
> 
> the title is inspired by a line in the song dangerous blues by the young veins


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